Atlas: Year One
by galia-carrot
Summary: A series of oneshots based on the Sleeping At Last album "Atlas: Year One". Mostly Trip/T'Pol.
1. Overture

**This is the first in a series of oneshots based off of Sleeping At Last's album "Atlas: Year One" there will be 30 oneshots, one for each song in the album and I will update it as I finish them.**

 **I hope y'all like this project, it will be updated fairly sporadically because I don't quite know what I'm going to do for every song. I know for a couple of them, but not all. I plan on making it multi-ship and multi-character oneshots. And hope y'all will share your thoughts in the reviews!**

 **\- Galia**

* * *

Overture

 _Even after everything we've seen  
We've barely caught a glimpse of what it means  
In the architecture of the soul  
The universe began, with our eyes closed_

 _In the rise and fall  
Of a newborn's chest  
Like the ocean swells  
We inhale, exhale and reset  
Every living thing  
Is in a constant state of unrest  
Even after all our history  
We've barely caught a glimpse of what it means  
In the architecture of the soul  
The universe began _

_"Overture" Atlas: Year One "Sleeping at Last_ "

* * *

Trip smiles down at the sleeping baby girl in the cot, they've wanted this for so long and have been through so much to get it. Their relationship was by no means conventional, as far as Trip knew it was the first time a Vulcan or a Human had married and had children outside of their species. Apparently this was true as far as Vulcan doctors knew too, they'd never heard of a Vulcan and a human trying to have a baby.

It had taken them nearly a year to find a doctor who would help them, most didn't think it was possible and all of them were all too eager to point out that their first child, Elizabeth (though they all referred to her as The Terra Prime Experiment), had been created through unethical means and was less than successful. Even Phlox - who'd ultimately decided to help them - had pointed out that it was likely they were setting themselves up for more heart break. He'd prepared them for the fact that it could take years to have a living child and with Earth's current medical technology there was little chance of a child surviving and even smaller chance that it would be healthy. They'd have to get the Vulcans involved.

They'd fought for two years to finally find a doctor who would work with Phlox to help them. Once they finally did the process had taken years, with the data from the other Enterprise they'd come across in the expanse Phlox had been easily able to help them get pregnant, but staying pregnant was a whole other matter. There had been four miscarriages, the latest one being around 15 weeks and had landed T'pol in the hospital with uncontrollable bleeding. By the time this pregnancy came around they'd been trying for three and a half years.

Three and a half years and they finally had their miracle child, with her pointed ears, big blue eyes and soft light brown fuzz on her head. Elaine T'Shanik Tucker had been the name they'd finally settled on after months of arguing.

Trip leans over the cot and touches his daughter's head, T'Pol had been on bed rest for much of the last 18 weeks and the entire pregnancy had been rough on her. Trip remembers the day they'd celebrated viability, Trip had made dinner and they'd eaten in bed so T'Pol wouldn't have to move. He'd never expected they'd get here.

"Trip?" T'Pol says weakly from the bed.

"Hey," Trip says, smiling over his shoulder at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." T'Pol mutters, trying to sit up.

"Don't sit up, hang on." Trip says, reaching for the buttons on the bed, pressing one of them causes the bed to slowly sit up. "Better?"

"Thank you." T'Pol says, looking at the cot. "She's okay still?"

"Yeah." Trip smiles. "How about you?" He was worried about her, she'd had major surgery just a few hours ago to deliver their daughter, she must be uncomfortable."Should I call the nurse?"

"No." T'Pol says. "Can you bring her here?"

"Sure, hang on." Trip says, gently lifting Elaine out of the cot and smiling down at her. "She's still sleeping."

"She'll need to eat soon." T'pol says, taking her from Trip and holding her against her chest.

"Should I send for a bottle or somethin'?" Trip asks.

"No, I'll nurse her myself." T'Pol says. "But you should call a nurse should I need the assistance."

Trip nods and leans over to kiss T'Pol on the head. "I'll be right back." He says, exiting the room and walking towards the nurses station. "Um, could we have a nurse back in room 4112?"

"Is everything alright?" One of the nurses asks.

"Yes Ma'am, my wife just wants a little help nursing the baby." Trip says.

"We'll send someone down in a moment." The nurse says, turning over to the computer, making it clear Trip was to return to the room and wait.

"Thanks." Trip mutters, turning on his heel and returning to the room. When he enters the room T'Pol is cuddling their daughter close and looking down at her face. "They're sending someone by in a few minutes."

T'Pol nods quietly.

"You okay?" Trip asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I was just wondering…" T'Pol says quietly.

"Wondering what?" Trip whispers.

"Wondering if Elizabeth looked like this." T'Pol says, her voice wavering slightly. He hasn't seen his wife cry for the child they lost in many years, but she'd been through a lot the last several years and it didn't surprise him that the hormones and strain of giving birth were causing them to be pulled back to the surface.

"Well they both have your ears." Trip whispers, taking one of T'Pol's hands.

"What if we lose her?" T'Pol says quietly. "I can't go through that again Trip. I just can't."

"We're not going to lose her. Dr. Saren said she was healthy remember? Everything came back fine, all the genetic tests are clear." Trip moves next to her and puts an arm around her. "She's fine."

"It doesn't feel real..." T'Pol admits. "It feels like a dream."

"It does doesn't it?" Trip smiles. "Like all of a sudden life isn't what we thought it was."

T'Pol is quiet for a moment and then looks up at him. "We made her."

"It doesn't seem real." Trip repeats. "To think that we could make anything this, perfect."


	2. Woodwork

**Yeah this took forever, but in all fairness it is just something I do as I feel the inspiration.**

* * *

Woodwork

 _All our love came out of the woodwork  
All our strength came out of the woodwork  
We only know this light  
And darkness crashes against it  
We only know this light  
Deep in the woodwork_

" _Woodwork"_ _Atlas: Year One_ _ **Sleeping At Last**_

Trip looks out the window of their little bungalow, the Voroth Sea can be seen about 200 meters from their back door. He hadn't expected Vulcan to have a sea in the first place and he certainly hadn't pictured T'Pol - who was more than a little adverse to swimming - to have come here as a child. When she'd suggested it for their anniversary vacation he'd jumped at the idea, he'd missed the beaches on Earth and he was curious as to what a Vulcan beach held.

It wasn't exactly like he'd expected, though he'd known logically that the sand would probably be red, and the water orange he was still surprised to see it in person. Orange waves making their way up lazily to red sands, an unusual sight, but, he reminds himself, Vulcan doesn't have a moon, though they have a sister planet in near by orbit he doubts if the gravity is as strong. He's so wrapped up in watching the sea he doesn't even notice that T'Pol has come in until she slips her arms around him.

"You're cuddly this afternoon." He chuckles, putting an arm around her and kissing her.

"I'm your wife," T'Pol says simply. "And you're my husband, and we're alone, I can hug you if I so please." She mutters. "What do you think?"

"It's nice." He says, a small smile crossing his lips. "Not exactly what I'd expected though."

"What did you expect?" T'Pol cocks her head and looks out the window at the sea.

"Well," He says. "I guess I expected it to be more like Earth beaches - which I know doesn't make much sense, but still…" He trails off, his eyes fixed once again out at the orange waters of the Voroth Sea.

"Given that Vulcan doesn't have blue skies I don't know what gave you that impression," T'Pol muses, leaning against him. "But you should see it at night, it's far more impressive."  
"What do ya mean?" Trip asks, looking down at her.

"Well, the waves at night are very intense, and loud, you can hear them crash into the beach from here, and sometimes it rains." T'Pol muses. "As a little girl I remember sneaking out of our bungalow to stand in the rain, my father found me, and that was the closest I've ever seen him to angry."

"Is it dangerous?" Trip frowns, suddenly wary of staying so close to the sea if it was as violent as T'Pol implied.

"Not from in here," T'Pol says. "But from outside it certainly could be. I couldn't swim at the time, though I suppose even if I had been able to it wouldn't have done me much good."

"Why?" Trip frowns.

"Aside from the current, there are several carnivorous animals that live in the sea." T'Pol explains.

"Good God," Trip mutters. "Is there anything on this planet that isn't carnivorous?"

"The people." T'Pol says. "Aside from that, nothing comes to mind immediately, come, let's go find dinner."

Trip finds himself, standing once again in his sister's home in Florida, she's sitting next to the pool, watching something.

"Elizabeth?" He gasps, reaching for her.

"Daddy watch me!" A little girl's voice says from over on the other side of the pool. His two daughters stand next to it, Elizabeth's long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail and a cheeky grin on her face. His throat fills with fear as he realizes what's coming, and how he's the only one who know's what's coming. The Xindi, they're going to destroy this place any minute, he has to get them out.

"Lizzie," Trip calls. "Lizzie you get your little sister and you come over here right now," HE turns to his sister, she's staring at him confused. "We have to get out of here, we need to -"

A loud crash pulls Trip out of his sleep, in a panic he sits up and starts fumbling for the light. "Elizabeth?!" He calls. "L-Lizzie?" He continues to struggle for the light for a few seconds before he tumbles out of bed and falls to the floor.

"Trip?" T'Pol calls groggily from the bed.

"T-T'Pol!" He gasps. "We need to get the girls."

"Trip," T'Pol says, reaching over and turning on the light. "The girls are at home, with Jonathan."

Trip blinks for a moment and looks around, he's laying on the floor of the bungalow, overlooking the Voroth Sea, it's his and T'Pol's 8th anniversary. They left the kids with Jon, and came out here for a romantic weekend, no one is going to hurt his family.

"Th-the crashing." Trip mutters, climbing back on the bed and laying on his back, still panting.

"Just the sea." T'Pol whispers, laying down next to him and putting a comforting hand on his chest. "Remember, I told you earlier it would be very different at night."

"Y-Yeah." Trip forces a chuckle. "I just didn't expect this I guess."

"It is very different." T'Pol says quietly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Trip mutters, running a hand through his hair again and staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect his thoughts.

"Trip," T'Pol says firmly. "What's wrong?"

"Just- Just a nightmare." Trip admits, he hasn't had one like that in months.

"Trip," T'Pol says gently, moving closer to him and laying her head against him. "We're fine. The girls are fine."

"I-I know." He mutters, his voice wavering. "I- I just thought -" He cuts himself off because if he continues he'll start crying.

"How about we try some neuropressure?" T'Pol suggests quietly. "I think I'll struggle falling back asleep, it would be helpful."

"Yeah." He mutters, sitting up and wiping his eyes. "Yeah that's a good idea."

"On the floor." T'Pol says quietly, slipping out of bed next to him.

Trip obediently gets out of bed and stretches out on the floor at the end of the bed, though neuropressure is far from part of their nightly routine - it's hard to find the time with two small, wild girls - it's still something they try to do at least twice a week, particularly if one of them is having a bad night.

As T'Pol begins to work slowly and carefully Trip is reminded of their nights in the expanse, when he used to show up after nightmares not that different from tonight's and they'd spend an hour or two poking and prodding one another to help them sleep. Those sessions had been the cradle for their entire relationship, and lord knows they helped keep it steady now.

Trip lets out a deep breath and begins to relax.


	3. I'll Keep You Safe

I'll keep you safe

Try hard to concentrate

Hold out your hand

Can you feel the weight of it

The whole world at your fingertips

Don't be, don't be afraid

Our mistakes they were bound to be made

But I promise you I'll keep you safe

-"I'll Keep You Safe" by Sleeping At Last

"Shh," Trip whispers, rolling out of the bed and stumbling across the room to the crib. "Hey, hey you're okay." He lifts the crying baby out of the crib and sets her on his hip. "What's up baby girl? Hungry?"

That doesn't seem to be it because she stops almost as soon as he's lifted her out of the crib. He shuffles back across his quarters and stretches out on the bed, letting Elizabeth lay on his chest. "You just wanted Daddy huh?" THe baby doesn't seem overly eager to go to sleep though, she looks around and sticks her fingers in her mouth. "Yeah you're Momma is gone tonight, an away mission, just you and me princess."

Elizabeth seems more than content with this and stays quiet enough that Trip starts to doze, figuring he better put her back in her crib before sleeping he gets up and goes to set her down. As soon as she's lowered into the crib and his back is turned the screaming starts again. Great, it's going to be one of those nights. Ordinarily T'Pol would be the one convincing him to let the baby sleep between them in the already cramped bed but there's something about the way Lizzie is looking at him as she cries.

"Alright, alright." Trip mutters, picking her back up and sighing. "Just this once, and don't tell your Momma okay?"

He rests her on his hip, carefully removes the pillows from the bed and lays back down, this time setting Elizabeth next to him on the bed. He didn't need the grief he'd get from T'Pol, he was often the one telling her to just let Elizabeth cry it out and that if they gave in she'd be in their bed for years, but damn he had to admit when he was the one having to put the crying baby back it sure was hard.

"You hear me?" Trip chuckles, rubbing her tummy gently. "This stays between you and me princess, tomorrow night when your Momma gets back it's right back in your own bed, but for now… well I miss her too." He sighs.

Elizabeth coos softly, evidently Trip's gentle tummy rubbing has had the intended effect as she starts to close her eyes and drift off sleepily. Trip is soon to follow and it's not long before they're both snoring softly.

T'Pol enter's their quarters quietly. It was 5:30 am, the away team had just been released from deacon and she didn't want to wake Trip or Elizabeth. Noticing the empty crib T'Pol experiences a brief moment of what she can only describe as panic, until she looks to the bed.

Trip had lectured her only two nights ago about needing to leave Elizabeth in her crib, he'd said if she didn't learn now she never would. Though T'Pol almost always got her way and had Elizabeth sleeping with them anyway, Trip always maintained that he was bothered by it, yet here he was sleeping soundly with Elizabeth in the bed next to him.

T'Pol shakes her head slightly and begins to undress, climbing carefully around the two of them to her side of the bed. She kisses each of them on the hair and lays down. The alarm is due to go off in half an hour, and then the morning will be a flurry of nursing the baby, getting showered and dressed and off to breakfast on time. She'll enjoy the time in bed with her family while she can get it, and as she starts to doze a peaceful, safe feeling begins to descend over her, maybe she can convince Trip to have them sleep like this every night.


	4. Bad Blood

_We study our story arcs-_

 _Inherently good,_

 _Or were we broken right from the start?_

 _Our hesitant fingerprints_

 _Trace every mountain,_

 _Lace every valley_

 _Until we're convinced..._

 _"Bad Blood" By Sleeping At Last_

* * *

T'Pol sits heavily on the edge of the bed, Trip had stormed out after an argument, saying something about sleeping in his old quarters. It's the third time this week and something tells T'Pol he won't be coming back this time.

How did they get this way? They'd always quarrelled but rarely did it turn into full on fights, but in the last few months things had started to come to a boil. They fought over everything, their daughter, their jobs, and their relationship, nothing seemed off limits anymore.

T'Pol's mind turns back to something Hoshi had said to her earlier in the day 'i don't know how you two have held it together this long'. T'Pol had almost been bursting to tell her that they haven't, they'd been doing it for Elizabeth but as she got older it only seemed to get harder, they were tired and sick of each other, and T'Pol was starting to wonder if it was time to face facts. Facts that told her she and Trip weren't right for one another anymore.

"Momma?" Elizabeth's small voice pulls her out of her thoughts, she looks over to where her four year old daughter stands in the doorway of her bedroom.

"Yes Elizabeth?" T'Pol says, taking a deep breath to pull herself together. She holds out her arms for her daughter and the little girl trots across the room to sit in her lap.

"Did you and daddy fight again?" She asks, putting an arm around T'Pol and leaning against her.

"Yes," T'Pol admits, stroking Elizabeth's hair gently "We did. I'm sorry if we woke you."

"Where's daddy?" the little girl turns her big blue eyes up to T'Pol.

"He went… for a walk." T'Pol says slowly, she doesn't like lying to Elizabeth but she isn't going to tell a four year old that it's very likely she just overheard her parent's relationship coming to a close.

"When will he be back?" Elizabeth whispers, rubbing T'Pol's arm for comfort as she speaks.

"I'm not sure, but you need to go to bed." T'Pol says, looking down at her daughter.

"He's not coming back." Elizabeth says, it's not fearful, it's not a question. It's matter-of-fact, and it's probably true, at least to some degree. Trip will certainly come back for Elizabeth, but T'Pol sincerely doubts the two of them will be sharing this bed again.

"He'll be back." T'Pol mutters absently. "Do you wish to sleep with me?"

"Yes." Elizabeth mutters.

"Very well, you get in bed, I need to change." She says, pressing a kiss to the top of Elizabeth's head before Elizabeth climbs into the bed and T'Pol gets up to change.

As soon as she's laid down in bed and turned off the light, Elizabeth fixes her tiny body to her, wrapping an arm and a leg around T'Pol's torso. It's not the most comfortable position but right now T'Pol needs her daughter close.

As Elizabeth's breathing gets deep and even, T'Pol lets out a breath of her own, it's shuddering and slow and emotional. She knows she shouldn't be feeling like this so close to Elizabeth so she does her best to block her daughter from the emotions that begin to fill her in the dark. She manages to keep silent as she begins to weep and reach out through the bond for Trip, but he isn't there. That's why it hurts so much, because when he slammed the proverbial door he cut off their bond. She could go through Elizabeth to reconnect with him but she won't expose her daughter to the flood of emotion racing through her.

The flood of emotion that can only be described as heartbreak.

* * *

In his quarters Trip is sitting on the edge of the bed, sobbing. He can't keep doing this, he can't keep coming home to T'Pol only to fight with her and scare Elizabeth. If he's honest with himself he's known for months that he and T'Pol were falling apart, ever since he mentioned to Jon he felt almost trapped every time he came home to T'Pol. Sure he loved her, she was the mother of his child, his most precious thing in the universe, but he was having to come to terms with the fact that he no longer loved her as a bond mate, and she no longer seemed to love him.

She'd always been outwardly cold and distant, but he'd always been able to tell she loved him, for underneath the hardened Vulcan exterior she was warm and loving. She'd snuggled up to him in bed with Elizabeth, and their bond had been strong and warm. It was like that for the first three years but Trip knew it wasn't like that anymore, and he knew the exact moment it began to change.

They'd argued over the baby thing, he'd been wanting to have another baby and T'Pol hadn't. He'd brought it up again, they'd fought, he'd been harsh, she'd been cold. Ever since then they'd seemed to be growing farther and farther apart. They'd fought more and more and tonight everything had all come to a head.

He lays back on the bed and lets out another sob, for once trying to consciously access the bond they'd once held, only to meet nothing but cold blackness. He'd never been very good at using it, at least not like T'Pol but he could usually find it, but something changed when he walked out of that room, the bond had broken, and his heart had shattered.


	5. Uneven Odds

_As the years move on these questions take shape_

 _Are you getting stronger or is time shifting weight?_

 _No one expects you to understand_

 _Just to live what little life your mended heart can_

 _You'll always remember the moment God took her away_

 _For the weight of the world was placed on your shoulders that day_

 _Maybe your light is the seed_

 _And the darkness the dirt_

 _In spite of the uneven odds_

 _Beauty lifts from the earth_

 _From the earth_

 _"Uneven Odds" By Sleeping At Last_

* * *

"Daddy look!" Elizabeth calls out, prompting Trip to look up from the PADD he's reading. Elizabeth stands on the back of the giant stone turtle in the park, preparing to jump off.

"Careful baby girl!" Trip calls back, watching as she squats and then leaps to the ground, giggling madly as she does so.

"Did you see?" Elizabeth calls

"Yeah I saw," Trip smiles.

"Can we go to the carousel now?" Elizabeth grins, trotting up to him and standing in front of him, blinking her big blue eyes at him hopefully.

"Course we can." Trip tucks the pad in the bag next to him and standing up. "You gonna ride the green pony again?"

"Nope." Elizabeth shakes her head of soft brown curls, a trait inherited from his sister according to his mom, though he was sure the color was T'Pol's. "I'm gonna ride the big Sehlat."

"Oh," Trip says, taken aback slightly. He didn't even know that Elizabeth knew what a Sehlat was. "How did you learn about Sehlats?"

"Aunt Hoshi." Elizabeth says matter of factly. "She told me all about them. Apparently they're pets on Vulcan. Did Mommy have one?"

"Yeah I think so," Trip says, swallowing at the mention of T'Pol. "She said she got one from her daddy when she was about your age."

"Can I have one?" Elizabeth grins hopefully up at him.

"You can have the one on the carousel," Trip chuckles. "But Sadie is plenty of pet for me." He says reaching down to pet the border collie on her head, earning a lick on the hand and a happy 'woof'. Apparently Sadie was more then happy being the only pet in their lives too.

"I do like Sadie." Elizabeth says, running up to the carousel and climbing on the plastic sehlat.

As the Carousel starts to run Trip starts to disappear into a world he didn't allow himself into very often, a world he'd lived in only 4 years ago. Every event in his life was sorted into before the accident and after the accident. Elizabeth had only been 18 months old at the time, starting to walk, get into things, she was no longer content to sit in her play pen at the back of the bridge all day while T'Pol worked so Trip had rigged a little area in Engineering for her. It wasn't ideal but it was the best they could do at the time, besides the action in Engineering seemed to keep Elizabeth plenty entertained.

On this particular day T'Pol had gone on an away mission with Malcolm, Trip was supposed to go along but someone had to stay and watch Elizabeth. He still remembered the moment Captain Archer called him into the ready room, Hoshi was standing next to it crying and had made him give Elizabeth to her while he went in. He'd been confused but a sinking feeling had begun to settle in his chest and as Captain Archer turned to him and told him about the shuttle pod accident he felt his world crumble beneath him. T'Pol and Malcolm had been killed, hopefully instantly.

Now standing here in the sunlight in a park in San Francisco, his little girl playing happily on the carousel he forces himself to think in a different light. THey'd never thought Elizabeth would be healthy enough to live on earth, but she'd gotten here and since moving down to Earth 2 years ago both of them had turned around. He didn't think he'd notice such a positive change in his daughter but the normally shy, clinical little girl had given way to a giggly playful child with friends. It killed him that T'Pol wasn't here to see it.

He'd forever sort things into 'before T'Pol's death' and 'after T'pol's death' but it seemed that as the years passed the things in the after category started to look as bright as the things in the before category.

"Daddy look!" Elizabeth grins as she waves to him from her spot.

"I see you princess," Trip calls back, still smiling. "I see you."


End file.
